"Bae", "shawty", "boo thang", "little friend" (as our parents use to say), every generation has a trend of sub-relationships and flirtatious flings. We all got that one person who's not exactly our partner or in a relationship with, but you're more than friends with that person. You're not giving your all, but they'll always have a special place in your heart. No matter how much they make you mad, you'll be there for them and you'll help them out. Yeah, it's nice to be at a peaceful place with someone and still have a stable friendship, but just like alcohol, there comes a time when it becomes too much.
Here comes the situationship.
Yes, this is a real thing for those who aren't up-to-date on the relationships trends.
Situationship- (noun) 1. A relationship that has no label on it; like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship. 2. any problematic relationship characterized by one or more unresolved, interpersonal conflicts. usually confused with dating.
In recent years, it has become common for people to have a situationship solely, or to have a situationship while in another relationship or dating. Many have talked about it on social media and in conversations at social outings. Some have bragged and boasted about it like it's a norm, but others are truly struggling in their situationship.
Why are they struggling? Why are they boasting about it?
Because in this generation of dating, struggle love is a real thing. It's something some, unfortunately, aspire to have. We live in a world where we are taught to be with someone through the thick and thin; women, and even men, taught to be "ride-or-die partners" even when there is nothing to ride for. I've seen this within my own circle of friends; I've seen people put in so much effort in a relationship/special bond that wasn't there, to begin with. They put so much of themselves in something that didn't last as long. This is why I'm declaring 2017 as the year we end situationships.
We deserve more, you deserve more, and there's nothing wrong with that. Situationships are just complicated friends with benefits. In most cases, besides intimacy, there's nothing you can benefit from a situationship. With that being said, there's no reason to feed into it. You must do either one of the three things.
- End the situationship altogether if you're not feeling the person and if there is no value in the situations. You don't need that kind of negativity your life.
- Ask them, "what am I to you? Do you see a future with me?". Don't be afraid to confront them. If they don't see a future with you or give you a concrete answer, leave them.
- If you want you and your partner to have a well thought out future, set a deadline for you two to discuss and make a final decision on the future of your relationship.
I am writing this as a means to help our generation go down a more success path towards meaningful relationships. Let's end struggle love and those that cherish it. We have so many relationship goals, yet can't seem to fulfill any of them. Gentlemen, use your Ralph Lauren cologne on someone who's worth your time. Ladies, if you're going to wear your best heels, wear them for someone who's going to rub your feet at the end of the night.