Where Are The Good Black Men?

This question has been asked as far back as I could remember, but 2016 has been the year many black women have asked, “where are the good black men?”. 

2016 has been the year of break-ups, breakthroughs, and self-discovery. I’ve heard so many stories of heartbreak and losing the love of your life. I’ve also had many black women, in my life and those who’ve messaged the blog, pour their hearts out about their concern about dating black men and finding a black man to love them. Black women have been vocal more than ever about the issues they face in dating and the disrespect they receive from other races as well as black men. It seems as if something as simple as dating has become an everlasting struggle for women, until today! As a black man, I am here to help you single ladies out there in the field of dating. I’m not going to break all the guy codes, but I am going to at least give you a helping hand, and give you some quality help. Now I know some woman is thinking, “here we go, another nigga telling black women what to do and how to do it”; no, that’s not what this is about. I’m not one of those ashy, misogynistic, hoteps who judge women for wearing weaves or acrylic nails. This is solid guidance from a guy who has your best interest. So with that being said, I’m going to answer the question.

Where are the good black men?

Let start out by telling you where you probably won’t find them: the ratchet nightclub, the after party, the house party, any fast food restaurant, Walmart, and rehab. 

Now that we’ve gotten that out the way, let’s focus on the places to go to.

Day parties; this will be your first stop. Day Parties are becoming increasingly popular, especially with black millennials. This is a perfect setting to meet new people, especially those single black men. It’s a social vibe where you’re going to dance and have a good time, but not too lit where you’ll get sweaty. Also, Day Parties bring out the best of the best; the artistic, the college students trying to improve themselves, the college grads who are actually improving in life, the socially conscious, the money makers, etc. Day Parties have become an alternative for those who aren’t into the nightclub scene and want a more casual, laidback social experience. No need to fear, if you are into the nightlife there are clubs that you can find good men at. Try to go to more intimate, downscale clubs or go to clubs that are dedicated to the R&B/Neo-Soul crowd. 

Concerts, preferably low-scale ones, are a good place to find good black men. One of the easiest conversations to strike up with men is the topic of concerts. Record stores are also a good way to meet good men (yes, record stores still exist). It may seem odd, but there’s something nostalgic about a record store and it’s always intriguing meeting new people in there, it’s better when you meet someone who’s invest so much of themselves in music. To be honest, I’ve always believed you can tell what type of man or woman you are by the music you listen to. 

Another place you can find a good black man is at art events. Other than concerts, go to art events, poetry events, art galleries, bookstores, museums, film festivals, etc. It’s cliché to meet guys at sports events and it’s a bad move to try to talk any guy when he’s invested in a sports game. Going to an artistic event or a place that involves literature and art allows others to see us in a different light. You can have more meaningful conversations; always remember art is a reflection of society. With that being said, discussions in the arts can lead to discussions on politics, social issues, and more. Also, I would check out industry events. You can get a job and the man of your dreams. Kill two birds with one stone...no pun intended.

The last place I’m going to tell you might require some research. Start looking at other places where good black men hang out. Where do the men you're interested in socialize, live, and shop? If you have to go shopping in certain stores and help style the man of your dreams, do it. If it means having to go grocery shopping and have lunch in certain neighborhoods, give it a try. If this mean socializing in an unfamiliar place, you better take that chance. 

Before you go about and start looking for your future Dwayne Wayne, there’s something you must understand. If you want a good black man, you have to speak that into existence. Too many times, black women want a good black man but tell the world how much “black men ain’t shit” and “niggas ain’t shit”. As I grew up, I learned how much life can change if you spoke things into existence. On that note, I encourage black women to say something positive about black men once or twice a day, and I promise you, more intelligent, stable, good black men will enter your life.